Just in case you haven't come across this quote from M*A*S*H:
Klinger: [Klinger enters Potter's office with a giant salami in one hand, and a giant loaf of bread in the other] 50 more pounds, and I'm homeward-bound!
Col. Potter: You're going to *eat* you way to a discharge?
Klinger: I call it "Food for Freedom"!
Col. Potter: I call it "Suicide by Salami"!
Klinger: I'll take my chances!
Col. Potter: Okay, when you can't get through that door, come see me.
Klinger: I'll be wearing a size 30, sir.